Dedication: This story is dedicated to my mum, dad, and grandfather. R.I.P
Ive had problems forever. I was born in london. I loved to make people happy. One day in school I noticed when I was sad other people around me were to. I started to hide my feelings. I didn’t let anyone know if I was angry sad or depressed. I always had one emotion, one emotion only, happiness. No one ever questioned it. I always checked up on my friends. I always made sure they knew they could come talk to me and they did. They knew I would always check if they were ok, but I wondered if anyone would ever see if I was. I thought it was for the best. I felt like having me be sad was better than having other people be sad. To be honest the only reason I didn’t commit suicide was because I knew how it felt to be alone and I didnt want other people feeling how I felt. At age six my grandfather died, at age 10 my mum, and at age 17 my dad. I knew as long as my friends were happy it was ok. I went to their graves every day. I told them that I remembered them. I told my grandfather I remembered the way he always made me laugh. I told my dad I remembered the way he always comforted me after every fall. I told my mum how I remembered how she loved me even if I messed up. Im now 18. I have depression, lots of physical and mental illness, I get bullied, but the difference is i’ve learned something. Without problems who would I be? I would be no one. I would be a stuck up, perfect, hair flipping girl! And you know what? Im fine with not being perfect. In fact I will do ANYTHING to not be perfect. Because without problems we are no one. Our problems make who we are. And if someone bullies me then who cares. Its my life not theirs. I may be crazy, dumb, or even insane, but I know one thing, problems make us who we are.
We all have to accept ourselves. Do me a favor and don’t turn into a perfect stuck up person. Be perfect in your own way, not someone else’s.