Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains references to childhood rape, other forms of violence and abuse.
My name is Scarlett Rose, I am 19, and this is my story.
I was bullied and called many names from the age of 4 to now. I was abused from a very young age by my brother, he raped me, beat me, and tortured me for 7 years until I was 12 when he got me pregnant. I was also verbally abused by my parents, my mom told me to go ahead and kill myself and my dad told me to burn in hell; they used paper to symbolise me and they drowned it. Because of this, I will be the first to admit, I looked for love in all the wrong places.
I was 17 and dating a 30-year-old, who tried to sell me into sex slavery. I am dating someone so wonderful now though, they are so amazing and the most loving person I could ask for, they saved me from an abusive relationship that I didn’t even realize I was in; I am the luckiest person in the world to have found my guardian angel.
I’ve been suicidal for as long as I can remember; I’ve attempted suicide more times than I can count but the one that sticks out the most, was when I took an entire bottle of sleeping pills, hoping to go to sleep and never wake up.
I’ve been in 5 different mental hospitals striving to deal with the PTSD and psychosis, additionally, I have bipolar, anger issues, paranoia, and schizophrenia.
I’ve been self-harming since I was 5 years old; I have scars all over my body, including my chest and throat.
I am on the path to healing and I am a week clean (thank you baby!). So that’s my story, its not pleasant and it certainly was not comfortable but I’m getting there, one day at a time.
I believe in you.
Photo credit: Images courtesy of storyteller.