I use to have sister. My 25-year-old sister Mariah Symone Sanders was shot and killed by her boyfriend on March 4th, 2025. She was pushing her first child, Serenity (7 months), in a stroller moments before she was shot. I hate that my niece has to be without her mom.
My sister was the best little sister anyone could ever ask for, I told her that all the time. I came to her about everything. She was the baby out the bunch but was genuinely my second mom, she always told me I was her baby before she had my niece. Whatever I lacked she had and whatever she lacked I had.
She was so young and in good health, and she had so much to live for. One minute she was happy, preparing to do mom stuff with Serenity, and next, she was gone. She left the world so early. All the family functions from then and now are waiting for her to be part of it. My sister left a void in my heart that no one could fill.
We were supposed to do everything together. I have so much to tell you. It’s been so long that I have shared things with you, that I have seen your pretty face, that I have seen you spreading joy everywhere.
I miss all the goofy things that we used to do together. We planned so much for Serenity, and you won’t be here to watch her grow and navigate through life. I have all your pictures saved with me, and that asset I would never want to lose. I go through those photos teary-eyed every so often so that I don’t forget your smile.
Sometimes I wish, as a family we had the privilege of discussing who should depart. Believe me or not. I would have taken the bullets for you.
Whenever I think about the day you left us I burst out in tears, it feels like poking on an open wound and rubbing alcohol to it. It sends shivers down my spine. My heart starts to ache, and I can’t stand a single thought of it. I don’t have the courage to experience that again.
Serenity misses you so much. She has seen me crying in prayers many times. I know that God has you and I will meet you afterwards.
Writing this took me more than usual because I needed some alone time, where no one is around me to feel like I am talking to you.
I’ll never understand why you had to go when I needed you here with me, but I do know I’m gonna run into your arms so fast when I make it to the other side.
To say “I Miss You” is an understatement compared to how much I think about you. I love you with all my heart and will see you someday soon.
-Your Only Big Sister-
Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.
