abused by stepmother

my childhood was a hell, i was abused and neglected which leaded to my ptsd and depression. i still have affects from what happened and think about ending it every day, but i won’t (i think) because i wouldn’t do that to my friends and family. im almost 15, and the time in which i developed the trauma was from when i was 5 to 14. i can’t talk anymore, can’t concentrate, sleep, cry, and it’s all just to much. please look around you and help and listen to the people around you, a LOT of people need help.