My Testimony: Created for Freedom
For years, I lived in a room with no air, constantly told that my suffocation was a sign of holiness.
The Prison of Submission
I was married inside a high-control church community where scripture was twisted into handcuffs. To the outside world, we were a devout, blessed couple. Behind closed doors, my life was a calculated cycle of isolation, emotional cruelty, and financial control. My husband used the pulpit’s teachings to demand absolute submission.
I lived with a crushing, chronic anxiety that never slept. My heart raced constantly. My stomach stayed knotted in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight. I was conditioned to believe that my panic wasn’t a warning sign of abuse, but rather a sign of my own spiritual failure and lack of faith.
The Illusion of Help
When the terror became too heavy to carry alone, I reached out to a counseling organization affiliated with the church. I thought I was running toward a lifeline. Instead, I ran straight into an ambush. They weaponized clinical terms and spiritual language to protect my abuser and the church’s reputation. When I described the control and manipulation, the counselors looked at me with calculated pity. They told me I was “unstable.” They whispered that I was “imagining things,” “bitter,” and “under spiritual attack” because of my own unforgiving heart.
This systemic gaslighting was terrifying. It makes you look at a white wall, hear ten people tell you it’s black, and eventually stop trusting your own eyes. They threatened that if I left, I would lose my community, my family, and God’s protection. I felt completely trapped—erased by my husband and locked in by the very people who claimed to speak for God.
The Awakening
But a cage cannot hold what God has already declared free. In my darkest moment, sitting on the bathroom floor with my mind fractured by anxiety, a quiet truth broke through the noise of the gaslighting.
I realized that the God who created the universe did not design me to be broken, silenced, or erased by a human system. Genesis rushed over me with a weight that shattered every lie I had been told: I was made in the image and likeness of God.
I am not a mistake to be managed.
I am not a shadow to be walked on.
I am a reflection of the Creator, built with inherent dignity, strength, and worth.
God didn’t just rescue me from that cult; He pulled me out because He has a specific, unshakeable purpose for my life. He saved me so I could stand in the light, completely unashamed, and hold out a hand to others still trapped in the dark. My mind is quiet now. The anxiety has lost its grip. My voice is back, and I will use it to tell anyone who will listen: you are made in His image, and you were created to be free.
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Photo credit: Images provided by the storyteller.
