how to move on.

I grew up in a middle-class family outside of town about 15 mins it wasn’t too far out of town in case you needed something but far enough away that it was quiet. So, growing up out in the middle of nowhere was hard and I made little to no friends and my adopted parents are die hard Christian’s so I grew up around that kind of stuff nonstop. The house I lived in wasn’t very big and by the age of 14 I was ready to leave and the reason for that is from the ages 8 till I was 14 years old I had one family member after another passed away and hearing nonstop it’s gods will etc.

they taught me to be kind and so on but never did what they told me and when I turned 19, they threw me out of the house and never gave a reason why. I lived at almost all my life and I was adopted at the age of 6 so I was basically a plaything for my adopted parent’s play thing so when they threw me out at 19 it hit me hard. They hard all my shirt’s, jean’s and other small items so I walked across the state of Kansas to a sister of mine I found on Facebook.

When I got there everything was fine, I gotten a job and was helping with the bills and you guessed it out of the blue my sister wanted me out because she was moving to across the pond in England for a job. I was like what when did this happen oh just before you got here and I was crushed so I had to move out again. I found a homeless shelter accouple towns over it was meant to help people but they never did it was slave labor almost to those who didn’t have a job and I was lucky i had a job.

The homeless shelter had a store with free things in it for the people and other things I can’t remember but they put on a great show for the people donating time/money or stuff. I had enough after this staff said no one can leave until the shelter is clean. I said I am going I got a job and after that I left and stayed in a motel for 5 months then I quit my job and headed back home then got a job working in people’s homes taking care of them and I did that for a year and a half until one day something broke inside of me.

It happened when I was shoveling poo out from a litter box and having difficult clients and I said no more and left my last person house I was doing that day and went to the library looked up train times. When I found the place, I wanted to go. then got to my apt and packed all my jeans, shirts etc. It would be a couple hours before I would leave. so, I went to the places where the only two friends I had died. Then I stopped by my parents’ house but there was a for sale sign on the lawn everything was gone but I went to the backyard.

A lady who lived across from my parents came to me and said your parents left almost right after they threw you out and they left in a hurry too and found it strange they left so quickly. Then she started to walked away then she said go start somewhere new this chapter in your life is over then she went to her yard across the street and in her house. That is what I did I made it to the train station and got on to go to my new job and as i was on the train i thought about what i went thru and the stuff that made me stronger .

one thing is known if i ever have any childern i will never throw them out like trash