Dedication: My children
If you’re feeling down or in despair understand that those feelings are real and it is absolutely ok to feel that way! Life is sometimes hard but it’s very important to allow yourself to feel the feelings that you feel in order to heal!
My story begins at age 16 with the loss of my mother to suicide. I was a junior in high school. I picked myself up, dusted myself off and continued on. I finished school and went immediately into the work force. I was thriving. Then my sister passed in a tragic car accident. I picked myself up, dusted myself off and continued on. I happened to marry a man who was verbally abusive so I left him and raised my 2 children then aged 2 and 5 alone. When my daughter was 6 a lawn service employee ran over her resulting in the loss of half her foot and all of her toes. That was the first time I questioned my faith however immediately seeing the upside as she was a little miracle. I had to pick myself up yet again although that one hit the hardest and forever changed me. When we moved home to NJ Sandy hit and we lost our home and every single belonging we owned. Our house was condemned and torn down as it was ravaged in raw sewage. I had to pick myself up yet again. Immediately after I was on my second divorce and then my father died of cancer. Picking myself up after that was difficult but successful. Two years after that loss FEMA who gave us $6,000 to start over recouped the money back with penalties and interest taking approximately $18,000 dollars total and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. That was the start of the biggest financial downfall i ever experienced and there was no recovering from that. I had to keep going for my children. Every day was a struggle. Just as I saw light at the end of the tunnel so to speak my niece was murdered in Philadelphia. That’s when I had collapsed mentally. I didn’t know how I was to go on. You see she was the daughter of my sister Dawn who had passed in the car accident when she was 9. She was like my child and I hurt more than anything else.
I am still struggling. I struggle financially, emotionally, there are days I wonder how I keep going. I am deeply spiritual and believe God has carried me and continues to carry me through these hard times. My point is no matter what happens to you, no matter how many times you get knocked down you have to get back up. You must continue on. There is no other choice. You can do it. It isn’t easy but you can do it. It can be done.