This is my story
December I fell pregnant.
Honestly I panicked, my body was overridden with panic.
Phoning my partner, who I hadn’t been with long, at all, but love so very much, in floods of tears, asking for help.
Both of us helpless and wondering what to do.
After continuous appointments week after week, I’d finally made the toughest decision I will ever make in my life.
A termination was really the only option for the both of us, with noise and life going on around us, it just wasn’t fair.
Through tears, arguments and restless nights the day finally came and the experience, though not nice, I couldn’t have faulted at all.
Emotional and full of new hormones I went home and started the healing process, to which I knew would be long for everyone involved.
2 weeks passed and I couldn’t quite put my finger on something, something just didn’t sit right or feel right with my body.
Just over 2 weeks later, after having the operation, I started to bleed, very very heavily, passing clots and fresh blood. I was miscarrying.
I phoned 111 and they threatened to send an ambulance, but I refused and made my way to the walk in centre, to be seen no later than half an hour later. Meanwhile I was bleeding profusely and I’d never seen anything like it in my life.
I sat absolutely dumbfounded with a nurse, as we tried to assess what was going on. It was either a delay with the process of the procedure, or there was more to it.
It was the latter.
I was scanned that evening to be told there was still tissue inside and was admitted that evening and put on a drip with some meds to try and ease the bleeding. I was tested for an infection incase it was sepsis or something more.
It wasn’t thank goodness.
Then they gave me a tablet to try and stimulate the release of this, this wasn’t successful.
They kept me in that night and we talked about options later that day.
I’d tried every method possible so far, leaving one left. To undergo surgery under general anaesthetic.
This did frighten me, but I knew it was the safest and most effective way, especially after trying the others.
After undergoing several tests and being given medication, I headed off into surgery and woke up no longer than half an hour later.
Everyone during the procedure was so lovely, which made it harder to keep it together.
My emotions were sky high and I couldn’t bear any more of it.
I went back to the ward and it was a success, but instantly broke down. I was weary and completely out of it, I’d never experienced anything like this before in my life.
To not only go through an unsuccessful abortion, but to experience a miscarriage, has left a huge scar on my heart. My life has changed forever and it’s made me appreciate everything, big and small.
I’m sharing my story to raise awareness that this can happen, and when I didn’t think it could happen to me, it did.
🌈❤️✨
~ Photo credit: Photo provided by the storyteller.
