I am writing this story because I believe it can be therapeutic for myself to share my story and maybe even help someone who is going through a similar situation. I am 32 years old. A mother to 3 great children and a wife of 16 years to man I’m lucky to have. To understand my character, I’m gonna start by telling you a little bit about my childhood. My mom was a teenage mother. She had me when she was 15 years old. She married my biological father and 2 years after I came along, she had my sister. My father was abusive towards her. When she tried to leave him he went as far as to lock us all in a car for days. So here is my teenage mother locked in a car with a 2 year old (me) and an infant for days. Needless to say, that marriage ended. Immediately after, she marries my step father whom helped raise my sister and I. He joined the marines and was stationed in California. Everything was great as far as I can remember u til my step father left the marines and we moved back to our home state. He then became abusive to my sister and I. His language was very vulgar towards us. Mind you, when this started I was maybe 7 and my sister 5. Our biological father at this point was out of the picture. Our stepfather would choke us, curse at us, hit us. His mother would bite our ears, pull our hair, whip us. I never thought anything about the abuse. To me, this was normal and all I knew. It wasnt until I was old enough to stay nights with friends when I would realize that this wasnt normal. Fast forward 10 years and my mom was finally leaving my step father. What hurts about the whole situation the most is that it took my step father asking her to sleep with his best friend in front of him for his birthday and not the fact that he had abused her kids for years. She actually did it to and ended up falling in love with the man and going from my step dads house straight to another mans house. I cant help but blame my bio dad for all these things that happened growing up because maybe had he been involved, none of these things would have been allowed. I dont know. So I meet my husband at a friends when I was in high school. He completely changed my life. I know alot of people say that about their spouses but it is so true in this case. My mother let me marry his at 16 years old. I know that sounds crazy letting your child get married at 16 but in this case, it was one of the only things she did for me that was for the best. I went from not having food to eat and never ever having 3 meals to him making sure not only did I have 3 meals every day but i had clothes, heat, love, all the things i was not accustomed to. Still, after 16 years of marriage, I know he doesnt realize how much that changed me. All the little things that people take for granted because they are used to having them, I was beyond grateful to have. Fast forward a little bit and I’m in my 20s. Still married to a great man but struggling in other areas of my life. I had a great fear that my husband would leave me one day. I was damaged. My husband did nothing wrong but I could see myself tearing us apart even though all I wanted was to be with him forever. I didnt feel worthy of him. I thought he could do so much better. He was raised from a loving home and was what I would call normal. I, on the other hand, was so damaged and not happy with myself and felt undeserving of his love. Still to this day, some part of me feels that way. Maybe I always will. But with every passing year, I grow. I try to be better and not let the thoughts I have control me. I like to say that my life truly began the day I met my husband. I’m slowly having faith maybe I can be loved. Its still hard some days but no matter your story, dont give up. You will find someone that changes your life. I believe there is a soulmate for everyone, whether that be a partner or just a best friend, that you find one day and everything just begins to fall in place. Suddenly you see the purpose in your life.