Dedication: The Lord and Corey Kreischer
My life changed checking my mailbox in 1997, he was tall and stunning. We made eye contact, said hello, and went our own way. Few days after that I had a water leak in my apartment and needed maintenance to come take a look. When maintenance showed up to fix the leak,,HE, the stunning, tall, young man I saw at the mailbox was with the maintenance guy(planned lol). I welcomed them in and showed the leak problem and continued about my chores while they took a look. The mailbox guy introduced himself as Corey. We started chatting and sharing a bit about ourselves and that’s how it all started. Our love story began that day. Corey and I had an amazing courtship and he absolutely fell in love with my daughter as well as me. We had so much fun and started to build our little family until Oct 1998 when it all began, when our world came crashing down. Corey was running a bit late getting home from work,,, I had made supper and set the table. He finally showed up and had a horrible nose bleed. We couldn’t get it to stop so I rushed him to the emergency room. I sat out in the waiting room while I figured they probably got the nose bleed under control and we would be on our way home. Not the case….the nurse came out to the waiting room and called my name and said I could go to Corey’s room with him,,he was being admitted. It was that night he was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia. Those words made me cringe because I had lost a very special and dear friend in middle school to leukemia,,Jennifer Perkey. That night our whole life changed. I didn’t have much of a relationship with God at this time so I would spend the next few years trying to tackle life, leukemia, being a mommy, a fiance, etc on my own. Corey decided along with his family that it would be a good idea for him to move back home to fight his battle with Leukemia. So that’s what happened and I packed my things and my baby girl Jessica’s things and we went home with Corey to love him through his battle with Leukemia. I remember the day we arrived in Constantine Michigan. It was dark, cold, flat, snowy, exactly how I felt in my heart about life at that moment(dark and cold). I cried, was lost, felt alone, and had no clue what was about to happen in my life. I remember Corey telling me that he would understand if I decided to go back home to Tennessee. I refused to leave his side through some of the darkest days of his life. Corey was put into remission in 1999 and he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes because I loved him in a way that I had never loved anyone in my life. Corey’s family helped plan our wedding and we were married March,20th 1999. One of the happiest days of my life. After marrying Corey he decided to adopt Jessica which was another happy day in my life. All while he is still receiving treatment for leukemia and did for three years after the initial diagnosis in 1998. ( 3 weeks after our wedding we lost everything we owned to a fire, all while continuing treatment).After the three years of maintenance treatment Corey was declared healed and we began to live our life without leukemia being in the way. We both had great jobs. He worked for Pepsi and I worked in healthcare. After being released by the doctor’s Corey and I began to try to get pregnant and this would be another trial we would face as a couple but would eventually get pregnant with Brayden in 2002 after trying for three brutal years of failed attempts that took a toll on both of us. Praise God that we eventually were blessed with Brayden. I suffered with postpartum depression after Brayden and had a hard time time finding my place in the world and life until the end of 2003. 2003 Corey and I bought our second home in Granger,Indiana in a sweet little Subdivision near family,schools, and church. The Lord blessed us with a spacious brick ranch, inground pool, 4 season room, a place to call home and raise our kids. We were very active in church by this time and lived a very good and faithful life. Little did I know it was the calm before the storm. I remember the day Corey came home and showed me his deployment orders like it was yesterday. He had just been awarded soldier of the year in the state of Indiana and now he was going to Afghanistan. I was a bit in shock when, though I knew this could happen from day one that I met him. After much prayer I realized it’s his duty as a soldier and he took an oath and this was his job and duty. For several weeks we began all preperation for Corey’s departure to Afghanistan. I knew I was going to have to stay strong for 11 months and pray for my husband’s safety and return home unharmed. Little did we know that Corey would never make it to Afghanistan to serve his country. I remember Corey telling me one day as he topped the steps to our home,,” I need to quit smoking, I’m getting out of breath real easy lately “….and several people from church had mentioned Corey looked jaundice and loosing weight. I hadn’t noticed. Guess because I saw him everyday. We were concerned family, church members so Corey’s mother and I asked Corey to please go to the doc and have his blood checked just to be on the safe side. Corey agreed and saw the doc on a Monday while on break from work. I remember the doc calling and answering the phone that day,,,hearing the doctor say that I need to call my husband home immediately because his leukemia had returned. Omg, I could not believe we were going to have to go through this again. I was so numb, in shock, scared, mad, all of those feelings overwhelmed me and then it was up to me to call mY sweet, precious, loving, hardworking, amazing father to our children,MY HUSBAND,,BESTFRIEND,, and tell him he needs to come home. I was appointed to tell him,,really?? I had to tell him the leukemia is back. I called, he answered and I said,” Corey!!! You need to come home honey””…my heart broke for him,,,he said no!! I said you do not have a choice. He refused to believe he was sick again. He was in denial for hours and finally I heard his truck pull in the driveway….he was devastated but ready to fight this demon,,yet,,again. We both shared the news with Jessica and she cried so hard, bless her heart. She was and still is such a big hearted person. She was daddys little girl and it broke her precious heart. But we pulled together and fought as a family against everything trying to come against our sweet family. Corey was diagnosed in October 2004 with relapsed acute lymphocytic leukemia. He fought such a hard battle, instead of Afghanistan and fighting for his country, , he had to fight for his life and his family against leukemia. I have never nor do I ever want to ever witness such a brutal, devastating illness. Cancer destroyed my husband from the inside out. He went from a tall,muscular, strong, hard working man to a thin, frail, weak, helpless, childlike mind. He went from a person who could walk or run to a walker, wheelchair, and then eventually bedridden. I watched day after day how cancer literally ripped my husband from me. Corey passed away and was healed by the hand of the Lord on July 13 2005. The morning Corey left this world is a day that haunts me almost daily. I woke up early and was going to start my day with Corey and taking care of him. I walked passed the sunroom where his hospice bed was and he was moaning and hitting himself in the head. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him and asked his stepmother when was his last dose of morphine? It was obviously time for it. I gave Corey his meds and he calmed down a bit but that wasn’t why he was hitting himself in the head and moaning. He was telling me it was time. He couldn’t hold on anymore. Cancer had taken its final blow. The hospice nurse told us to call family. Some didn’t make it in time. But around my precious husband’s bed was his father, mother, step mother, and myself praying and loving on him one last time. Corey looked over and with all of his heart was able to say,,I LOOVVEEE YOU! That was it,,, Cancer had defeated our family. I immediately went into shock and from that day on my life became a down hill spiral. I was pissed at God. How could you take such a precious soul away from us. We had just started our lives after the first bout with leukemia. He beat it,,, why him, why us!!! Why?? I moved back home to Tennessee 3 weeks after Corey’s death. I bought a house with some of the life insurance money but ended up moving 3 months after the purchase because it wasn’t good enough or so I thought. I now know its because I was trying to fill a void that I couldn’t replace with houses, cars, clothes, money. I failed to remember my relationship with God and all of Gods promises to me in the bible. I didn’t have to put myself and my children through the hell I was putting us through by trying to fill our void with material things. Ahhh things went south fast. Home after home and car after car never filled my void. I continued on this path from 2005 until 2013 when the money ran out and I had fallen into the trap of alcoholism and obesity. From 2013 to 17 I drank everyday,,,, was addicted to prescription anxiety medication. My life was a nasty mess. I lost everything( at this point I had also lost my mother and sister two months apart) Everything including the respect of my community ????. I let everyone down because of my selfish, bitterness, anger toward God for taking my husband. 2017 I was diagnosed with polycythemia. God worked through Dr. Ibach in 2017 to save my life. I was dying slowly. My body ,mind, and soul had been through enough. Dr.Ibach told me I would be lucky to make it out of his office doors the first day he saw me. I was 300lbs inside of 5’3 body frame, alcoholic, torn, broken, lost my homes, cars, belongings. I had nothing and surprised I still had my kids. 2017 I surrendered my life and rededicated my life to the Lord. I laid it all at the feet of Jesus. I was tired of the struggle of addiction because I didn’t want to feel the pain of loss and all of my mistakes. But I have a God who reached down and saved my life, wiped away my tears, filth, and shame. I quit drinking in April 2017 at home with help from God, was weaned off anxiety meds. As I continued to give my life and my all to God, I along with everyone I know watched God work miracles and restoration in my life. I now am sober, no anxiety, no depression, the lord blessed me with a nice home, 100+ weight loss, relationships restored, and little by little he has continued to restore my life and mold me into the God fearing woman I am today. With a love so strong for the Lord. Let me tell you that I was dead,, dead inside. The devil was destroying me but God had a different plan the day I chose to surrender this old world and accept my eternity in heaven. I have a beautiful and intimate relationship with the Lord and I know that my testimony isnt supposed to be left silent. I will share my story and my redemption with whomever it will give hope in Christ. Dont let the devil steal your joy. I did for way to many years and those years I’ll never get back. But you can start today and decide to take back what’s yours. Peace, joy, happiness, contentment, eternity in heaven. This is only a portion of my story. If I can let go of the past that was dealt to me you can. God is so good and I now know that everything happens in his timing and we dont have to understand but we must trust Gods decisions, judgments, and ways. For his ways are perfect. Please share my testimony with others who may need hope in this broken world. Our testimony is supposed to help lead others to Christ and that is my prayer for anyone who needs hope.
Photo credit: Image courtesy of storyteller.