Dedication: Dedication: My “Boy-Team” – in eternal Love and Gratitude
I had always been a quiet child, enjoying nature, keeping to myself – and being overlooked by others. Many times the feeling of being different from others overcame me, in groups I often felt lost, like an outsider. For a long time I thought I was not “right” that way, needed to adapt myself, to be like the others.
I have always loved music. Longtime choir and classical instrumental practice accompanied and shaped me for most of my life. To make a career of it was never my intention – after all, I wanted to keep enjoying it and was not good enough at it…so I thought. Too much fear of my own greatness and potential, my own creativity, was still standing in my way.
The turning point came after a long illness. After being roused by it, I began to ponder the questions of life – who am I, what do I want and why am I here? Step by step, I began to recognize my capability to truly and deeply feel, to listen. An immense desire for freedom awakened inside me – I wanted to experience what comes from within me, to bring out what yearned to be set free, not to constantly be told, when and how to do something. This also pertained to the music – I wanted to be heard! Not to just always sing “pretty and correct”, because someone else determined it that way. I felt the irresistible impulse to raise my own voice in my own way.
And thus, I started to compose, to write spiritual and healing songs, to listen to the sounds which wanted to be heard, to trust my own voice, to carry my own song out into the world, to take my seat in life’s orchestra. Searching for alternate ways of singing I discovered the healing potential of my own voice and developed my capabilities of sound healing.
Now it is about recognizing my uniqueness and to live completely. Because I realize – my inner calmness is my biggest asset. Yes, it makes me differ from most others – but this alleged “weakness” which I viewed as what was “wrong” with me for a long time now turns into my biggest strength, something I can always draw hope from, share with others, with which I can inspire others – during my healing concerts and workshops which deal with the topics of listening and feeling, or it makes me different in just simply being.
It was and is an intense process, many fears I was allowed to overcome. Hence to show yourself with everything there is to let yourself be vulnerable – it demands an ample amount of courage. It has taken time and motivation from beloved souls (who have found their way into my life through a wonderfully guided way) to let my true self – the artist and healer – live more and more fully to show me and the creator in me more openly without letting assumed judgement or comparison of others make me go mad. To stand by me and accept me unconditionally and to have confidence that my light will start to shine, especially because of my singularity. Without the continuous support of my “Boy–Team” I would have never come this far, and I will forever be thankful for their love and backing.
Alea’s story originally appeared on this site in German, and she has approved this translation.